Growing Up

If you were to ask me what I constantly struggle with... it is CHANGE.  I find comfort in schedules, routines and expectations that periods of my life have to offer.  Whenever I turn the page to a new chapter in my life, I am faced with a great sense of insecurity and hesitation.  Now that I am crossing through a new threshold, I've realized that I still haven't grown up.

I taught for two years and just finished my last day of school on the 7th.  I am leaving something behind that I am very passionate about...TEACHING.  It is hard for me to let go of the known and step out into the unknown.  I was very prayerful about my decision to become a  mommy and have the time to stay at home.  This is what I have always wanted and I know that it is the right decision for our family.  But it doesn't make the transition easy.  I put so much work and time into teaching and let's be honest... a whole lotta heart.  I spent our last few minutes of class together reminding my kiddos that the most important thing that I taught them was to believe in themselves.  There were countless times in these last two years that my students came up to me and said, 'I didn't think that I could do it and then I said, 'I believe in myself!'  After the many tears (seriously at least 95% of my class was crying) I sent them out the door for the last time.  IT WAS HARD.  I tried to block out what was really happening and I busied myself with the next project, clearing out my classroom.  After spending 13.5 hours at the school on Friday I came home and crashed.  It wasn't until the next morning that it all hit me.  I cried on Josh's shoulder for who knows how long.  

Leaving my job was hard (well let's just say that growing up is hard) but I cannot wait to become a mom.  My due date is one month from today.  The most common question that we are asked is if we have picked out a name for our little one.  The answer is no, the names that Josh and I bounce off of each other just don't stick and then we are back to square one.  It has been fun to see Josh get ready for this baby.  He has an organized spreadsheet of all the baby items that we need to purchase with colors, store availability and prices.  He can't wait to be a daddy and I'm excited to see him in that role.

I'm taking this growing up thing one step at a time, but I can't wait to see what this next chapter of my life has to offer.

Last day of school... just before the Tear Fest began.

Enjoying our last days together before the real adventure begins.