Living In The Present
Sometimes I find myself caught up in a trap. I waste away precious moments, because I'm too busy waiting for what I really want to come along a little faster. And then I'm humbled each time that I realize how precious those moments truly were. I've learned how important it is to live in the now and to enjoy every single irreplaceable moment. I was talking to a dear friend and she mentioned how overbearing the societal expectation to be perfect is. Do you waste away minutes, hours, or even months wishing that your life could be different? Is the pressure to be perfect the root of your worries?
I have always wanted to be a mother and to stay at home with my babes. I thought that being a stay-at-home mom was the perfect life that was in store for me. So when I had to go back to work, I was crushed. But, I have learned two main lessons through this experience. #1 This is actually where Heavenly Father wants/needs me to be right this moment. #2 I have a responsibility to live in the present.
Josh tried telling me that we could figure things out and that I wouldn't have to work, but deep down inside I knew that I needed to go back...and that made me angry. I turned to Josh and selfishly stated, "I'll do it, but I am NOT going to change lives!" The problem with that attitude, is that the whole purpose of my job IS to change lives. I am with these little ones for one precious year to encourage, support, teach, model, love and to leave them better than I found them. How can you not live in the present when you have that stewardship? And when I'm home, I'M HOME. I can still be the loving mom that I have always wanted to be. We spend lots of time together at home. We also go to the dog park, the zoo, the duck pond and we go for runs together. I am learning how to make the most out of each day and every minute that I get to spend with Adriaan.
My responsibility to live in the present has become apparent through my marriage, my motherhood and through my stewardship as a teacher. So even though some days it seems easier to stay in bed and "not change lives" I don't. I just keep moving. Even though some days I don't want to make the effort to get the jogging stroller and baby out of the apartment, I do anyways. I just keep moving. And even though I want to be lazy when I see opportunities to serve, I jump up anyways. I just keep moving. Sure, this might all catch up to me one day, but I'll deal with it then. And for now, I'll just keep moving and living in the present.
I have always wanted to be a mother and to stay at home with my babes. I thought that being a stay-at-home mom was the perfect life that was in store for me. So when I had to go back to work, I was crushed. But, I have learned two main lessons through this experience. #1 This is actually where Heavenly Father wants/needs me to be right this moment. #2 I have a responsibility to live in the present.
Josh tried telling me that we could figure things out and that I wouldn't have to work, but deep down inside I knew that I needed to go back...and that made me angry. I turned to Josh and selfishly stated, "I'll do it, but I am NOT going to change lives!" The problem with that attitude, is that the whole purpose of my job IS to change lives. I am with these little ones for one precious year to encourage, support, teach, model, love and to leave them better than I found them. How can you not live in the present when you have that stewardship? And when I'm home, I'M HOME. I can still be the loving mom that I have always wanted to be. We spend lots of time together at home. We also go to the dog park, the zoo, the duck pond and we go for runs together. I am learning how to make the most out of each day and every minute that I get to spend with Adriaan.
My responsibility to live in the present has become apparent through my marriage, my motherhood and through my stewardship as a teacher. So even though some days it seems easier to stay in bed and "not change lives" I don't. I just keep moving. Even though some days I don't want to make the effort to get the jogging stroller and baby out of the apartment, I do anyways. I just keep moving. And even though I want to be lazy when I see opportunities to serve, I jump up anyways. I just keep moving. Sure, this might all catch up to me one day, but I'll deal with it then. And for now, I'll just keep moving and living in the present.
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